Just A Few Quick Questions About Lunar Colonies

With Newt Gingrich as the potential soon-to-be leader of the free world, I'm super psyched about his pragmatic approach to America taking over the moon. Creating a lunar colony in the midst of an economic crisis is obviously a pretty solid Presidential platform that I think will really resonate with the millions of underemployed Americans living in poverty.  And he's not one of those "so-called romantics" who just daydreams about living in outer space. Nope, he's the kind of "practical" and proactive leader America needs to get shit done. Cool moon shit, not more boring healthcare crap like those weiners in the Obama administration. But before I offer my glowing endorsement for the only candidate whose name is also an ingredient in a witch's brew, I just have a few logistical questions regarding all my future lunar living needs:

1. First of all, will I need to apply for a US visitor visa to get to the moon, or just the territory belonging to America? Or am I okay to travel anywhere on the moon with a simple Canadian passport? And supposing I wanted to live on the moon, would I have to obtain US citizenship?

2. Not that I could foresee any complications arising, but like any vacation spot with no oxygen, gravity, or atmosphere it's always good to think ahead, right? So what's the story with medical facilities and healthcare coverage? I know picky details have to take the backburner when it comes to space colonization, so maybe I'll come back to that one. Just whenever you're ready.


3. Speaking of not having any oxygen, and also not really knowing how to manage manufacturing on the moon, does that mean the production of air will be outsourced to China? I figure it will just be to suplement the drilling once the resource exploitation, er... 'asset development' thing gets sorted out. Surely we're not in danger of a peak oxygen hoax for a while.


4. Will same sex marriage be legal there or will the moon continue to uphold America's wholesome traditional family values? I imagine anyone living on the moon would only be supportive of things that are normal and natural for humans, like living on the moon for example.  So that's probably a 'no'.  Nevertheless I'd hate to see the moon succumb to the kind of liberal hippie orgy fest that's inevitable with equal opportunity rights.


6. Will NASA accept Air Miles?

7. Exit through the gift shop?

So I say enough with the thinking let's get with the doing. I support an American Mars colony by 2020.